Does it seem like you’ve been pushed way over the edge into a foreign land?
Do you wonder who you are now that you’re not that – whatever that was for you?
Do you attempt to use strategies that you’ve successfully used in the past – like working harder or smarter or staying positive – only to find these old hacks don’t do much good anymore?
Do you blame yourself because you just can’t seem to get it all together like you used to?
Are you exhausted much of the time and befuddled as to why that could possibly be?
We live in a time of obliterated high dreams, of unimaginable environmental destruction, of shocking political warfare, of our world turned upside down, of global pandemic and the lies that surround it.
Most of us are being forced to figure out how to thrive while experiencing deep loss. And as we age, the sense of loss takes on another layer of immediacy and danger.
Loss has many faces. We might feel the loss of time, of opportunities, of the familiar ways we used to behave, of money, of job security, of employees, of respect, of relationships, of sleep, of freedom, of trust in ourselves and our institutions, of our loved ones, of the luxury of being able to enjoy life as we always have, of confidence in our ability to chart our own paths and actually get where we want to be.
It’s a mark of the many blessings and vast privilege in my life that it took me years to develop some capacity for traversing the territory of “not what it used to be.” Now I continue to gain experience making my way through this harsh and parched land of loss.
There are tools and practices and perspectives that can aid us in our travels through this territory. Pioneers and scouts – those who have gone before – have wisdom to share with us. We each have untapped talents and secret selves eager to finally be in play. We all come from a very long line of adaptors and survivors whose grit is bone deep within us. There are more true and meaningful stories we can live than those of empty powerlessness. Loss and gain are part of an ongoing story of life, death, life again and again. So, no matter if we fight against loss with every fiber of our being, there is always something on the other side of it. What if it turns out to be better than we ever guessed?
Even though there’s no secret trap door out of this territory,
no magical universal treasure map through,
no easy pay road above the mess,
no short cut,
support is available.
It is my honor and mission to accompany women navigating the territory of loss. There definitely are ways we can shore each other up because no matter the harshness of this land,
we all have joy to experience,
wisdom to share, and work to do.