Getting Friendly with Pachamama Danger Signs of Over-Domesticity in Women
Coaching in the Wise Woman Tradition More on the Wise Woman Tradition
Danger signs of over-domesticity in women: The inability to know what you want The complete inability to say the word “NO”, or even its more polite cousin, “NO Thank you” Non-existent personal boundaries Listlessness, lack of energy (from being sucked dry), sometimes masked as boredom Hyper focus on the needs of others, of pleasing others Lack of creative thought and passion Unexplained clutching onto dead ends – like dead end jobs, relationships, routines And in its most advanced stages – convincing yourself of the good in all that confines and diminishes you, perhaps even forcing constricting notions on others.
Making the choice to spend time in Nature can bring us right up against that Mystery of Time thing once again. “I would go out and get to know a tree if I only had the time. As it is I can barely find time to be with my friends or my family.” “I’ll get to it after I mark off just a few more items on my infinite to-do list.” “I’ll wait until the weekend and add it to everything else I expect to accomplish in two days.” If any of those sound familiar to you, here’s what I’ve learned. Yes and no are the two sides of one coin. They are inseparable. Every time we say yes to something we are saying no to other things. Even the small things we think we can do in just a few minutes come with a built in "no" to other choices. Part of our unsustainable 24/7-age thinking is that we can keep saying yes to every thing that is offered to, or requested of us. And given that we are strong and resilient and capable we can say yes to a great deal for a long time – and we are still saying no to many other options when we do so. One sure way down the path of over domestication, of distancing ourselves from our powerful wild soul, is saying yes to everything but what deeply nourishes us. That inner predator that devours our dreams would have us believe that those choices we make to recharge our spirits, to do our inner work, to delight in the beauty all around us, are frivolous and a waste of time. Our love for others and our commitment to our goals can also lead us to always say yes to more immediately measurable pursuits. When we’ve had our heads down and our shoulders to the tasks of the day, we can get so caught up in overwhelm that we forget it’s possible to say no to some things in order to say yes to deeply nurturing ourselves. When our wild instincts are tamed almost into non-existence, we begin to believe that it is not possible to say no – after all there is so much need, there are so many opportunities, who else will do it if we don’t? The protection of our sacred inner fire and the commitment to our most important values rely on our conscious, empowered use of yes and no. This is no small thing – reclaiming our ability to choose. What and whom we are saying yes to each day is how we are choosing to spend our precious lives. It’s not about what we are meaning to do, or what we’ll get to some day, or the sweet dreams that stir our soul and keep us warm on cold nights. Those choices get a no every time we say yes to some other distraction or demand. When I remember that every time I say yes too quickly I may be saying no to something way more important to me, I begin to get a sense of what the cost to me will be. When I say no to something that would be really good for me because I’ve spent all my yeses already, my wild side howls. When I make choices that support my soul and my wild self, that are in alignment with my values, and that are resonant with my dreams and purpose then I am consciously spending my Yes/No coin. To do that I clearly choose what I want and let my words of yes and no reflect my desires. Saying yes to time in Nature (and therefore no, for the moment, to all the other things on my list) is a fine use of that coin for me. If overwhelm is a familiar state for you, there's an article on my website that you might enjoy, Feeling Overwhelmed? Engage Your Inner Warrior Goddess. |
There's a nail-biting, heart-racing mystery that many of us are embroiled in – perhaps you know it. It's the Mystery of Time: what happened to all of it, how do I get more of it for the people and things I enjoy, how to slow it down or speed it up, how to have enough of it, how to use it wisely, how to be at peace with the flow of it, who's in charge of it anyway, who steals those hours between when you fall asleep and the alarm clock rings, whose idea was 24/7 anyway… Any of this sound familiar to you? The frenzy has gotten old, way too old and unfulfilling for me, so I'm always on the look out for ways out of the heart racing, mind boggling pace. Some seasons I'm better at it than others. Understanding, patience and forgiveness are gifts I have to give myself during those seasons when I get forgetful, when I wake up full out in the Mystery of Time. I'm hoping you'll give me the same gifts. In one of those off seasons I committed to getting my newsletter out in email format. That was over a year ago. In my process of dancing with Time at a pace that is sustainable for me, I let go of my commitment to this newsletter for all of 2006. So if you're getting this and wondering why, some Time in the last year you visited my website www.hawkview.net and signed up to receive it. If you can't remember why you did so or if you've got your own wrestling with the Mystery of Time going on and simply don't need one more thing to read, please scroll to the bottom of this newsletter to unsubscribe. More on the Mystery of Time later. For now – let's find some spaciousness in Nature.
 What if I told you there was a rich source of unlimited power and magic readily available to you, free for the asking? A source of wisdom and wonder, one that can help you re-enchant your daily life, or help you find peace in the midst of the whirlwind? No secret rituals or hidden codes or multi-year apprenticeship required. This direct conduit to Spirit, to wisdom, and to your inner Self is right before your eyes, begging for your attention. What is this fountain of wisdom, meaning, and joy? Nature, the Earth, or Pachamama, as the Q'Ero people of the high Andes call the living spirit of Gaia. Being in Nature, spending time out doors, can impact us in profound and powerful ways. Before I lose my urban sisters let me say this: it's easier than you might imagine, you don't have to get dirty or wet or cold, Nature is welcoming, there is nothing to fear, and the payback is enormous. What payback, you ask? Re-connecting with Nature gets us back in touch with the wild inside of us. Our wild is our undomesticated, un-corseted, natural energy of life. Wildness in us is the fuel for our outrageous dreams, our restless yearning to fully be, our playful delight in the magic all around us. Even brief times in Nature wake us back up to the essential wild energy within us. This wild, untamed, undiminished part of us is the source of our intuition, our energy, and our creativity. Every one of us is wildly intuitive. Our well-trained (and highly domesticated) rational minds don't want to believe this. Our wild selves know it to be true. Remember reading about how the wild animals knew of the tsunami and fled from the shoreline areas before it hit? We can trust our intuition to lead us away from real danger and towards our own north star. We can trust our intuition to help us make the difficult and confusing choices of how to live in alignment with our truth in a world that would much prefer us to be mindless consumers. Our natural wild child, the one that plays in the gardens and talks with the trees, gets us out of word based linear thinking. This then stirs our creative faculties, opening the doors for new ways of being and doing. And as Daniel Pink expertly articulates in Whole New Mind, creativity is a crucial requirement for successfully navigating the world of today and tomorrow. Research has shown that children who spend time outdoors are better able to concentrate, have more advanced motor skills including agility and balance and coordination, are sick less often, have higher test scores and concentration, and are better able to deal with adversity. Being in Nature also increases the development of imagination and a sense of wonder, which is a key component to becoming a life long learner. Time in Nature helps children develop a sense of independence and autonomy. It can also stimulate social interaction and reduce bullying because kids that play in Nature have more positive feelings about each other. The wild child, as well as the more tamed adult in us, can claim these rewards, too. What does connecting with Nature have to do with life coaching? The natural world is the Queen of balance. She knows all about cycles, seasons, and timing. She knows how to keep successful ecosystems stable for hundreds of years and she knows how to shake things up and start all over again. When we want more balance in our lives we can follow her examples. Many of us come to coaching to get more grounded in what's true for us – like our values, our truth, and our life purpose. Get that word “grounded”? Sinking our roots deep into the Earth helps us sink our roots more deeply into our Selves. For those of us on the quest for abundance – more money, more clients, more travel, more peace – we can turn to our Earth Mother, the ultimate source of all and more, for inspiration, wisdom, and guidance. Fulfillment is all about thriving and not just surviving. The beauty, wonder, majesty, and enchantment of the natural world reminds us in a primordial way of all that is possible – in the world around us and within ourselves. Connecting with the Earth, remembering our untamed ways, offers us an abundant source of energy we can use in our lives. Imagine being able to draw on the nourishing energy of the Earth rather than turning to a cup of coffee or some other stimulant! You don't have to take classes at Hogworts, like Harry Potter and his friends. You can remember how to sink your roots deep into Pachamama to draw up her nurturing energy. A sorceress in one who can source or draw up energy for her own use. You can reclaim your own wise, wild, witchy woman ways by using your intuition and your imagination to call upon the life giving power of Mother Earth.
Easy ways to get friendly with PachamamaGo for a fresh air break. Maybe, even with the tobacco, that's what's been the allure for smokers all along – short breaks throughout the day of sucking in good, sweet air and the beauty of Nature all around. Breathing is a most intimate act of connection with the Green Ones. We breathe in what plants breathe out. They breathe in what we breathe out. We need the oxygen they breathe out to live. They take in carbon dioxide, what we breathe out, to live. Like lovers with our breathing we share our life force. Just taking some time to be conscious of our connection with plants, with Nature, can slow us down, can open our hearts, and can orient us within the great web of life. Get into relationship with a tree. As humans we have been shaped by trees in such a way that they are some of our most ancient clan members. Because of our time in trees – some calculate our ancestors spent about 80 million years in them - we developed long arms and hands that grasp, and you know where that led us. In countless sacred images, art, and stories we remember the magic of tress and all they share with us. Each one of us has encoded in our genes the memory of trees, the language of trees. You can start simply. Find a tree that you'd like to play with. Take some time to slow yourself down a bit. Cease moving and talking. Breathe. Perhaps you get conscious about the intimate dance of shared breath. Just as you would respectfully greet a new potential friend, ease your way into sync with the tree. You could think of it like coaxing a spooky cat onto your lap. Be still and open, using all of your senses, especially your intuition. Then notice what feelings or images you sense from the tree. This is the time to let go of your judging mind while embracing your dreaming mind. Simply be with the tree, relaxed and aware, and see what happens. For more on trees and their magic check out: Celtic Tree Mysteries, Practical Druid Magic & Divination by Steve Blamires Tree Wisdom, The definitive guidebook to the myth, folklore and healing power of Trees by Jacqueline Memory Paterson The Tree, A Natural History of What Trees Are, How They Live, and Why They Matter by Colin Tudge Luna Press creates my favorite of all times lunar calendar that associates each moon with a tree. Check them out at www.thelunapress.com. Try a belly-on-the-ground meditation. We usually think of sitting meditations and when we lay on the ground, if we ever do after grade school, it is to lay up and watch the clouds or to close our eyes and sleep. So this may seem awkward at first but it will be well worth the stretch. You can lay a blanket or pad under you. Get set up anyway you can get comfortable to settle into having your belly on Mother Earth. Again, slow yourself down, so that you can be relaxed and aware. No need to force your thoughts away, just bring them back when they start badgering you about laying around when there are so many other and way better things to be doing. Use all your senses to be open to the energies of Nature around you. You can imagine your umbilical cord coming out of your navel and connecting down into Pachamama, like the deep roots of a tree. Nothing to force, just gently remember and notice. You can do this all year long in just about any weather if you have the clothes for it. Once I watched the process of a snowflake melting into a drop of water – a simple and mysteriously magical moment. One early spring afternoon I fell asleep during my belly to ground meditation in my garden. I was awakened by the chickadees that landed on my back. Their little feet tickled me awake. Yes, my task oriented mind goes crazy when I laugh with the birds and celebrate the life passages of the snowflakes. My spirit, however, soars and my sense of what's critical in my often harried life realigns with my values and my reason for being here. Dance in the wind. Have you ever noticed how the wind can stir things up? We know that wind often means a change in weather, like storms blowing in. Unconsciously we get that wind is energy in motion. So let the wind be your dance partner – and as in many dances, the less clothes on the better! Let your sweet body and your restless spirit be moved by the wind. You can do this alone in your back yard or with your beloveds. There are no rules or requirements – just that you let yourself be free. As Mary Oliver instructs us in her poem, Wild Geese, “You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” Let your animal body love moving in the wind, wild and alive. Get dirty. OK I know I assured you city girls that that wouldn't happen, but I lied. Getting your fingers in the dirt or your feet in the sand or getting grass stains on your knees can feel really, really good. This isn't the same as working yourself into the chiropractor's office because you spent the entire weekend cleaning something. I'm talking about getting physically connected with Nature in a way that pulls you out of your proper adult behavior pattern. Play in the dirt, in the snow, in the grass, in the waves. Play outside and don't be bringing your indoor voices and behaviors with you. Cackle, howl, groan, and laugh till your side aches. Getting really sweaty and dirty lets you know that you got the idea. These are just some starter ways of getting reconnected with Pachamama, Mother Earth. I'd love to hear about how you play and find comfort in the arms of Nature.
Our once a month phone circle, Walking the Path of a Daughter of the Earth, still has room for a few more wild women. For more information on this safe structure for re-membering and re-awakening our personal power, our connection to the Earth and Spirit, and our bone deep knowing of the Wise Woman tradition, check out www.hawkview.net or contact me.
If you'd like to find out more about Life Coaching in the Wise Woman tradition, you can go to my web site or contact me. I always offer free sample sessions for those seeking a coach, or as I prefer to call myself, a midwife of dreams.
Feel free to send questions, comments, and expressions of delight to christine@hawkview.net. I'm always interested in hearing what you have to say. If you're enjoying this newsletter, why not forward it to a friend? If someone has forwarded this issue to you, you sign up for the newsletter to get it delivered to your mailbox automatically, just by visiting the Hawkview.net. To unsubscribe, follow the links at the bottom of this newsletter. © 2007, Christine Thomas |
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